My Personal Cantor

Jess and Pete’s Wedding Part I – How I Became Their Interfaith Wedding Officiant ….

Saturday afternoon, I had the pleasure of performing the Interfaith wedding ceremony for Jess and Pete, an incredibly beautiful couple, both inside and out!  But it almost didn’t happen, and here’s why ….

interfaith wedding ceremony
Photo by Shardayyy Photography on Unsplash

Jess contacted me in the fall of last year, and we spoke for almost an hour about what she wanted for her wedding, and how I could help.  It seemed from the first minute we spoke on the phone, that we were both speaking the same language – everything I told her about my Interfaith wedding ceremonies was exactly what she wanted.  And she sounded like the perfect client for me – she was so bright and enthusiastic, very family oriented, and just wanted a warm, personalized, and meaningful ceremony.  It was the perfect match!  UNTIL ….

I asked her what date she was planning on getting married, and when I checked my calendar, it seemed that I had a tentative booking with another bride who I also had really liked on the phone, who I was scheduled to meet with a few days later.  I called her immediately to confirm, and see if she was still planning on meeting, and she was – and I told Jess I might not be able to do her wedding.  I was SO sad.

So,  few days later, I met with my other bride and her fiance.  We had coffee at Starbucks, and from the very beginning I could tell the fiance was very uncomfortable.  He didn’t want to answer any questions, and this couple couldn’t have appeared to be farther apart – in every possible way.  I was completely uneasy, and even stopped the dialogue a few times to ask if there was something I was asking that was making him uncomfortable, and he just wouldn’t budge.  Even the bride was getting uncomfortable because of his actions, and I was getting really bizarre vibes the whole situation.

I told them that in order for me to put my personal signature on an Interfaith wedding, I must feel comfortable with my clients, and vice-versa.  That in order for me to create a personalized, meaningful wedding ceremony, both parties must feel like they could share their lives with me, so I could get to know them and talk about what makes them so special.  I explained that unless I felt a strong connection between my couples and myself, I just couldn’t do the best job possible, and if I can’t do my best job, I can’t do their Interfaith wedding.  He told me that he wasn’t comfortable sharing anything, at all, and so I was faced with a choice.  I mean absolutely no disrespect to either this bride or groom – it was a simple decision, and one that I feel I made out of integrity and dedication to honoring the joy that comes from my experiences with my clients.

I immediately got on the phone, in the parking lot at Starbucks after that meeting, and called Jess!  If she would still have me, I would love to be her officiant!  We were both so happy when she said she had been waiting to hear from me and was hoping it had worked out that way!  YAY!

So, the next week, I spoke to Jess’s Mom and Dad, who are the most warm and beautiful couple.  We made our arrangements, and the rest was up to Jess, Pete, and me, to create a beautiful Interfaith wedding ceremony together.  I’m so incredibly happy we all made that choice, so please read on in part II, about the day of Pete and Jess’s magnificent wedding ceremony.  Some things just have a way of being what they were meant to be …

Want to create your own “dream come true wedding”? Contact Cantor Debbi today to see how you can co-create the event of your dreams.

PS: And don’t forget to stop by our sample ceremonies page to see what your ceremony might look like!

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