My Personal Cantor

Alex Shalman's How to Avoid 15 Years of Regret

I recently read Alex Shalman’s blog about avoiding 15 years of regret, and thought it was so profound. So many of us rush through life, reacting to all that comes into our path, and we live in such a frantic pace, we never have time to realize what happened, until we look back and realize we have regrets about what did or didn’t happen.

I am a believer that we can avoid this pattern by living consciously, and making proactive choices, but how do we do that?

Alex’s proposed “conversation” with our future selves is an excellent idea. Have you ever had a conversation with your past self? Conversations like…”Why did you handle things that way?”…”If I’d only said/done this or that”….But those conversations are useless. We can’t go back and change time, so we’re just punishing ourselves for things we did (or didn’t do) that we just didn’t realize we would regret in the future.

Here’s our chance to correct that dialogue. Having a conversation with our future selves lets us take today and examine it, and plan for tomorrow, anticipating the dialogue that we will eventually have with ourselves, regardless. We can live consciously, and analyze what impact each choice we make will have on our futures, whether it is 15 days or 15 years into the future.
Think about it. What did you do today that you will talk about with your future self 15 years from now? How will your future self reflect on that? Will it have empowered you? Will you see the good that came out of that choice? Did it create a positive impact? Or did it just bring more negative energy to the space you live in? Making choices with our future selves is a great way to live consciously.
Thanks for the post, Alex. You remind me how valuable each and every moment I live in truly is.


  1. Alex Shalman said,

    December 1, 2007 at 10:00 pm · Edit

    Hi Debbie,

    I value your feedback on my previous post and thoroughly enjoy your writing voice. I can already tell that I will be enjoying reading your new blog in the future, and I wish you success. It seems to me like Lauren and Trevor have one awesome mom ;)

  2. Administrator said,

    December 3, 2007 at 1:10 am · Edit

    Thanks, Alex!
    That means so much, especially because I’m such a big fan of yours!

    Feel free to leave constructive feedback as well – any time!
    – Deb

  3. Stacey Ramer said,

    December 6, 2007 at 2:30 pm · Edit

    Hi Debbi,
    I loved your Blog! You write beautifully and I love to hear about the next big thing happening in your life… because you always seem to have something big coming up next! Lauren’s poem was great… I can see where she gets her talent for writing! Good luck with everything! I look forward to hearing more on your blog!


2 thoughts on “Alex Shalman's How to Avoid 15 Years of Regret”

  1. Dear Rev Jill,
    I attended the New Seminary, in NY, under the auspices of Rabbi Joseph Gelberman, and Rabbi Roger Ross. I have a Cantorial S’micha, but have strongly considered a Rabbinical one. I have often looked at New Spirit, but because my relationship with Rabbis Ross and Gelberman is so strong, I would pursue theirs, I suppose.

    I have honestly made my own melody to the Sheva Brachot – nothing pleased me, and most of my clients prefer something more melodious. I will do my best to record for you, and send via email.

    Thanks for the compliments – I’ll email you directly so we can chat more!

  2. shalom, cantor. thank you for your kind words. we do have a lot in common. which rabbinical seminary did you attend? i want to learn to sing the sheva brachot nicely – any ideas? great site, and great outfit.
    metta, b’shalom
    [email protected]


Leave a Comment