Many colleagues ask me why I invest so much time in my individual couples. They insist that I can be just as popular, and just as busy, but I don’t need to make my couples a part of my life.

WRONG!!!!

Without a couple like Danielle and Garrett, and without falling in love with some (many) of my couples, my practice would feel empty. Instead, Danielle and Garrett were just like my own family from the minute we met, and I wouldn’t change a thing. They both came to me a year ago, wanting to meet, and explore the possibility of my co-officiating a ceremony for them, as D was Jewish, and G was not. They were both raised traditionally, but wanted an equal yet meaningful blend of who they both were as individuals, yet reflecting their harmonious union together. We sat at Starbucks for almost 2 hours (yes, a little longer than the typical initial meeting) and when we left, there was so much love in the air. Danielle called me later to let me know that Garrett specifically wanted ME to do the wedding, absent of a co-officiant. Rarely is it the groom who displays such emotional preference, but Garrett had a way of opening up to me in that meeting, that preserved a very special place in my heart for him – forever. Through the year, Danielle and I became fast facebook friends, engaging in early morning and late night chat, and sometimes, some personal opportunities to vent, and for me to be a sounding board for her, and even some of her family members. After all, this was an Interfaith wedding, and each of them had family members with strong preferences and religiously traditional ideas, and at times, Danielle and Garrett had to make some unpopular decisions about their ceremony, that didn’t please all of the important people in their lives. Together, we worked through it all. Danielle came to my home for coffee one day, to work on choosing a Ketubah, which she purchased from MPArtworks. It was beautiful. She made me such an important part of every decision, and with every twist, turn, and contest that Danielle entered (AND WON!), we built a relationship that would last forever.

We signed the ketubah prior to the ceremony

Now, working with Danielle, it’s impossible not to get her – without the rest of the family, and of course – her very special Dad, Jules. Once D and I became facebook friends, I was instantly friends with her Mom, her Dad, and about 100 cousins. (ok – I’m exaggerating) Her dad, Jules, one of the most incredibly fun and sweet Dads I have ever met, included me in some facebook banter, and the rest was history. The year continued, with anticipation of meeting – and celebrating with everyone, and FINALLY – the night arrived – 10/10/10.

Jules, and his awesome smile!

A special date, a special couple, and a special family – I knew this was going to be a wedding to remember. Danielle could not have planned it better. She and Garrett were married at the Boca Marriott, a venue I could not recommend more highly. They were phenomenal, very accommodating, and everything was perfect. They were married at the fountain outside, and they had a platform built on top of the front third of the fountain, so we were elevated, yet the fountains ran behind us.

Side view of the chuppa with the harpist

I can’t even tell you how beautiful their chuppah was, courtesy of Dalsimer Florists. Yes, these people are the best in the trade, and when you want over the top beautiful flowers – that’s where you go.

The detail of the chuppah was amazing!

They had a harpist for ceremony music, who I have played with before, and she is lovely.  We incorporated so many beautiful traditions, the ketubah, chuppah, sand ceremony and more.  We incorporated the 7 Blessings (Sheva Brachot) with a modern day interpretation on the English.  Instead of circling, I wrapped my tallit around their shoulders, to create a protective circle around them.  It was beautiful.

Unity Sand Ceremony

They performed the biblical ring exchange, on to the right finger, moving each ring over to their own left ring finger, which I think adds so much dimension to the ceremony.  Overall, it was meaningful, uplifting, and just a tiny bit humorous, as Garrett kept throwing some humorous anecdotes in as I was talking and the 3 of us were giggling like crazy!

Jewish Ring Exchange

On the party!  Their DJ – Shamar Reyes, was amazing, he kept that party going, had everyone out on the dance floor (yes, me included), and played such fun music – you couldn’t help but want to dance! (And that, we did!)  Everything was so perfect, and we really had so much fun! Funny note: D wanted a photo booth SO bad. Dad, Jules, wanted nothing to do with it. D entered ANOTHER contest – and yes – SHE WON. Dad, Jules, still wanted nothing to do with it. IT WAS AWESOME! (Ask Dad Jules about the photo booth – he ended up loving it!) Just ask Lindsay with www.photoboothsocial.com how much fun he had at the party! Danielle’s friend, Jonathan Nimerfroh was hired to do photos, and he did an amazing job. (I could not be writing this blog entry without his generous supply of beautiful photos!)  We got a sneak peek just a few days after the wedding, and couldn’t wait to see the rest. D’s dress was designed by David Tutera, also a personal friend, and she looked like a princess. Danielle had her rehearsal dinner at Maggiano’s, in Boca, and after the wedding, we all made our way over to Rocco’s Tacos, ANOTHER personal friend of the family, who opened the bar for the after party, and for those of you who know what you do at Rocco’s – the tequila was flowing to say the least! (This family has GREAT friends!)

Rocco on the Tequila Bar - check out those shoes!

Garrett's Mom - contemplating Tequila!

Yes, I attended all of the events of the weekend. A little unusual, as time rarely permits, but again, this was special. I’m not sure I’ll ever be able to describe my relationship with Danielle and Garrett, but I just know it is one that will last forever. They bring a very special brightness to my life, and they made me want to own the responsibility of giving them more than they could have hoped for, for their wedding ceremony. Without couples like this, I might be happy with just being good at what I do. Danielle and Garrett made me want to go beyond that. That’s why I do what I do. D & G – I love you both! I couldn’t have been happier to be such an important part of your special day! I know we will be part of each other’s lives for a very long time FOREVER!

When I think about my most unique weddings, I immediately think about the unique relationships I have formed, not only with my couples, but with their friends and family as well, because to ME – that is what makes MY weddings most unique!  For instance, when I’m asked that question, I am always taken back to Dan & Rita’s in Mexico, Felix & Evelina’s in Aruba, Jenni & Mike’s in Fort Lauderdale (diverted from Mexico compliments of Swine Flu), and now, Cheryl and Prav.  Unique to me, are couples and family who are now as close to me as my own family, and whose experiences made a lasting impression on me – for years to come.

And now, I can add Cheryl and Prav to that list.  From the moment I spoke to  Cheryl, we were in love!  She and Prav live in Raleigh, NC, but her mom lives in Boca, and so we made plans to meet on her next trip to South Florida.  Cheryl, Prav, her mom Joselyn, and Step-Dad Ted all met at Cheesecake Factory for dinner, and had the best time.  It was important to Cheryl that I knew her and Prav – I mean – really knew her, and Cheryl LOVES to share, so getting to know them as individuals and as a couple was very easy.  Cheryl and Prav have hearts the size of Manhattan.  They would do anything, give anything, be anything, to and for anyone they loved, because that is just who they are.

And boy oh boy – do they love each other.  Yeah, I know – every couple on their wedding day really loves each other, but seriously, this couple is different.  The love they share for one another brings each of them to tears – at least 3 times a day.  I seriously think Prav prays three times a day, and each time, his #1 prayer is one of gratitude for Cheryl – and vice versa.  I’ve never seen a couple so incredibly grateful for each other, and that’s part of what make Cheryl and Prav so unique.

So, on December 21, at Coconut Cove in Islamorada, with the most beautiful ocean behind me, and the most beautiful couple in front of me, I joined Cheryl and Prav in marriage, in a night I will likely never forget.  The venue, I just have to say, was one of the best places I have ever performed a wedding at.  First and foremost, it is a beautiful piece of real estate, but Paul and Magda run the operation, and they run it like it was their own wedding.

The food is amazing, but it was also the layout I loved most.  Guests could dance, but the dining area was separated from the dance floor, so we could enjoy each other’s company, if we chose not to dance.  And the fact that it was a private location – without 10 other weddings going on at the same time made it feel so personal, and warm, that it was incredibly enjoyable!  BUT – the most amazing part?  How about taking your first dance on the packed-sand beach, with fireworks being set off behind you?  Priceless, incredibly priceless.

The most priceless part, overall, however, is my Cheryl and Prav.  I love how they love each other.  They inspire me.  They encourage me.  They have become incredibly meaningful in my life, and I can’t imagine life without them.  Now, that’s unique.

Love you, Cheryl & Prav!

Pam and Jason - Atlantic Dunes Park

What made this ceremony unique was that Jason has 3 children, and it was important for them in incorporate the children into the ceremony.  Not just to give them a part, but to make them feel like they were part of this marriage, and profound change in their family structure.

Pam, Jason, and Children - family unity!

We created a beautiful, non religious, spiritual ceremony that paid tribute to who they were as individuals, and what values they shared for their family.  As they took their vows together, they each vowed to have patience with one another in their new roles, and to support one another through the many changes they were sure to experience as they created their new home together.

It was deeply meaningful, and turned out just the way they wanted.  The kids felt so good about being included, and a new, happy family has come to be.

Cantor Debbi Ballard with Pamela and Jason

Best of luck, Pamela and Jason, and THANKS for allowing me to create your special ceremony!

B’Shalom,

Jennifer & Mickey's Interfaith wedding location at Hemingway House in Key West

Chuppah at The Hemingway House, Mickey & Jennifer's Interfaith wedding

Mickey and Jennifer are the sweetest couple, incredibly kind, loving, and so wonderful to work with!  Mickey is Jewish, and Jennifer is Chinese, and together we created a beautifully blended ceremony, including a chuppah, breaking of the glass, and ending in a beautiful Chinese Tea Ceremony, where both Mickey and Jennifer honored their parents.

Tea Cups for Chinese Tea Ceremony

Mickey and Jennifer honor Jennifer's parents in the Chinese Tea Ceremony

Mickey and Jennifer’s families were wonderful, and so much fun to celebrate with!  (Especially Mickey’s sister!)

I co-officiated the ceremony with Pastor Dave from The Hemingway House, and the setting, the food, and the whole party experience was incredible!

Best of luck to you, Mickey and Jennifer!  Wishing you all the love in the world!

B’Shalom!

Yes, I am the first Cantor to become certified in performing underwater weddings!  Using full Guardian scuba face masks, and through ProDiveUSA in Fort Lauderdale, we are going to be offering full communication, video streaming technology – underwater weddings!

I’ll post more about how this all came about, but the Sun Sentinel and South Florida live are coming out on Monday to do a story on our underwater weddings, so I wanted to get this out there right away!  We’re looking for our first couples, AND a Catholic priest to be my partner in Interfaith weddings!

Attending an Interfaith wedding can be a major source of anxiety for many wedding guests, these days. Many of us have attended weddings in our own house of worship. But when your family friend or relative tells you they are marrying a partner of a different faith that you don’t know anything about, that can cause a major case of wedding-guest jitters! What to do when you don’t know what to expect?

First and foremost – the fact that you are there, supporting your friend or family member is all that is really important to them. Today’s Interfaith couple knows that everyone is going to feel somewhat uncomfortable as a result of the unknown, but rest assured – the people feeling the most pressure are probably the bride and groom themselves. They worked hard to incorporate rituals and traditions of both of their faiths, and most likely, their main goal was to please each of their families, and not offend anyone.

Interfaith can mean a lot of things, and quite often, Interfaith also means Inter-racial, and Multi-cultural. Many religions such as the Jewish faith, Persian, Hispanic, Hindu, Muslim, and even Wiccan have rituals tied to the ceremony that provide strong symbolism in the lives of the married couple. Today’s couples are more likely to cross cultural and religious boundaries, which brings many opportunities for very interesting wedding ceremonies!

An Interfaith ceremony will most likely include language you have never heard, or rituals you don’t understand. You might be asked to sit and stand several times, or to read responsively. Most Interfaith couples will take their audience into consideration and refrain from making the ceremony “interactive”, so you can relax, and observe, and hopefully, even learn a few things from the experience.

Today’s Interfaith couples wish to incorporate the rituals of their faiths as symbols for their lives, rather than strong religious connotations. A good Officiant will often take the time to explain the symbolism that the couple has chosen to include, and to relate that ritual or symbol to the couple’s lives. A blending of traditions can be a beautiful experience, especially if one is relaxed and open minded. After all, the wedding ceremony is about the bride and groom, their love, and bringing both backgrounds together.

Today, there is so much material on the Internet about various religious and cultural wedding traditions, so it might be helpful if you are very uneasy to do a bit of research before attending the Interfaith wedding, so you can understand and even recognize the cultural symbols when you see them. Every bride and groom wants their guests to feel comfortable, so relax! Just being there for your friend or family member is the most important thing you could possibly do. Enjoy!

Please head on over – not just to see my post, but to check out all the great information Liuba provides on her blog.  It is actually written to appeal to the guests of the wedding, which is a pretty unique perspective -

So, if you like what I wrote – please drop me a note – and Liuba, as well.  Or, if you like Liuba’s site – let her know that too.  I love supporting my peers through social media!

Thanks, Liuba!  Stay tuned for “What to expect at a Jewish Wedding”…soon to follow!

In the meantime, I’m waiting for Michael to settle in from the trip, and send me his pictures, since I left my camera card in my laptop last weekend.  As soon as I get them, I will post pictures, and a review of the Sheraton Cable Beach, and then I will post about my 4 days in Aruba.

Stay dry, Florida!

“Kooky?”, I asked? “Yes, Kooky”, she replied. I wondered if this meant something “off color”, or something that would not quite go along with the fact that I am a member of the clergy, but she assured me it was completely clean, and quite adorable. You see, they have a 3 year old daughter, Destiny, and they wanted a cartoon character to perform their wedding – and they wanted their officiant to “dress up” in a costume they would provide. MMHMM, I said. And just what character would they like to have their officiant dress up as?

DORA, THE EXPLORER, her mother said.

MMHMM, I said – again. We’re talking August, on the beach in Florida, and you want me to dress up as DORA? Right. She told me they were looking for someone open minded, fun, easy going, and very much a team player. Well, that’s me. But DORA?

What the heck, I figured. You only live once, and like Wayne tells me all the time – I have to cut loose, have some fun, and take a walk on the lighter side of life. So – we agreed. They provided the costume, and I would take a hit for the team! Boy, did I ever. But – I got so much more than I bargained for. Once again, Dana and Shawn were the sweetest couple, and I fell in love with them. They had 21 guests on the beach, and dinner at the Marriott on Hollywood Beach, and there was me – in my Dora costume.

Even though this was a small, private wedding, I still felt I needed to spend the time getting to know them. So, we spoke several times by phone, before they arrived in FL, and we met the morning before the wedding. In that hour, I found out some great information that ended up providing tons of humor for their wedding ceremony. I knew I was going to need to get creative – but this really should have won an academy award!

You’ll have to read their ceremony. I really think I did a great job, if I do say so, myself. We had tons of laughs, I found a new “niche” for my wedding practice, and Dana and Shawn had the wedding of their dreams. I am definitely going to put a video of this wedding up as soon as I can figure out how, but for now – just check out the ceremony. It is sure to provide a few laughs! Dana & Shawn – I can’t tell you how much I LOVED being part of your day! More couples should be as light hearted and fun loving as you! Thanks!

The one thing about this work that never ceases to amaze me, are all the really personally rewarding experiences that come from them. Just when I think things are getting kind of routine, I get phone calls or emails from people right here in Florida, or all around the world, and somehow, I find the most amazing connections with everyone I work with.

The first story that comes to mind is that of Brett and Diane. Brett called me one day, back in February. He was kind of rambling, and kind of all over the place with what he had to say, but I could tell, there were some heavy thoughts on his mind. He was looking for someone to officiate his wedding to the woman he loved, but I could tell, he had experienced some major challenges in life, and he needed someone to listen – and to help.

He met Diane in recovery. He had been in and out of recovery his whole life, pretty much. He had a son from a previous marriage, who he was somewhat estranged from, his Mom had since passed away, and he really didn’t have any family to speak of to be with him on his wedding day. He was alone. Except for Diane – and her Mom. Diane was such a cutie. The minute I met them both in Starbucks, I was in love with them both. Brett had told me on the phone – they didn’t want anything elaborate. A simple ceremony on the beach in Delray, and off they would go, together, into the big bold world of sobriety. But, they had nothing to speak of, financially. They needed someone to stop, and listen to them, to believe in them, and preside over their vows. They wanted someone who would understand what they had each gone through to get where they were today, and most especially – someone who could give them a financial break – because again, they had relatively little to spend on their most very special day.

So, as I mentioned, we set up a meeting, and in came Brett, Diane, and Diane’s Mom. When I saw Diane, she had the most amazing smile, beautiful beaming eyes, and I fell in love with her, and Brett, and Diane’s mom – instantly. We talked about how the stars had all aligned themselves, in the most amazing ways, to bring them together, and how, miraculously, they brought each other through recovery – for most definitely (in their minds – and mine) the last time ever.

How could I have said no to this couple? They needed someone so desperately, and I was sitting there, in front of them. What they could afford was 1/5th of what I charge, typically, but it didn’t matter. I had an opportunity to make a difference in this couple’s lives, and there was no way I could walk away from them. It wasn’t an option.

So, on March 21st, I married Brett and Diane under the Jerry Garcia tie-dye style chuppa they hand made on the beach in Delray. Diane looked adorable in her hippie-style wedding dress, adorned with all of her tattoos and beaming smile. Brett couldn’t have looked any sweeter, in his casual beach wear, professing his undying love for the woman he met – just 3 months earlier, Many people would look at Brett and Diane, and swear they don’t stand a chance. I looked at them and saw a couple I just knew, would be together, until the end of time. I wish them so much luck and good fortune. I just know they will find it, too.

….More stories to come in the next post….

In the meantime, here is their wedding ceremony…Brett & Diane\’s wedding ceremony