You are here: Home / Archives for Lifecycle Events

Changing lives is easy!

March 27, 2011 By 7 Comments
DSC_0128

You would think it takes sheer genius, or a miracle, or a huge revelation, to truly cause a shift in someone’s life, right?  Not so much.  Try a simple, single act of giving, and see what that does – not only for the person receiving your gift, but for you – when you take part in authentic giving.

Since I live in downtown Ft. Lauderdale, I am constantly driving by the park on Broward, just east of Andrews, where countless homeless people live.  When I moved here, I began cooking double batches of food, and as I cooked for myself, I would package the 2nd batch, and drop it off as I drove by, with plasticware, in disposable containers.  (recyclable – for sure!) The first time I dropped off my food, I marveled at the impact it had on me.  Driving down Broward, with tears rolling down my face, I felt a new gratitude that I had never felt before.  Not grateful for the big things, but for the small things.  That I had my own food, and water, and knew every day where I was sleeping, and that it would be warm and dry.  It broke my heart that so many others had so much less.

At Purim, we give Shaloach Manot – Food Baskets – for the needy.  With 62 children in my Hebrew School program, I wanted to organize an act of giving. Not an act of giving where we just dropped food off at a truck.  Yeah, that’s good too, but – I wanted my kids to know what homeless people looked like.  I wanted them to see that they were real people, people who might have just lost out on chances, and this is where they ended up, for now.  I explained that sometimes, people choose this life, and while I wanted them to give to someone who had less than them, I did not want them to look at them with pity.  Just look at them as people who have less, and no way to get what we have, and know that you are doing something good when you share it with them.

I organized a food drive.  Asked every family to donate some food for baskets, to organize the baskets, and drive to downtown together, to drop them off.  I told them we probably wouldn’t stay there, just long enough to share – and leave.  Several families asked if I had press coverage.  ”No”, I replied – I didn’t want any.  This wasn’t about me, nor was it about my kids, but it was about simply – giving.  Nobody would know we were coming.  No organizers were there to make sure it all worked out, but something deep down inside told me that the ultimate Organizer, Blessed be He, was going to take care of it all.

I got nervous.  What if our giving caused a riot?  What if we didn’t have enough to go around and something bad happened?  What if my innocent children who I brought to Ft. Lauderdale with their families experienced a good plan gone bad?  Not today.  It wasn’t going to happen.  The Organizer was at work, making sure it was all good.

And so – we met at Dunkin Donuts, in the parking lot.  I was overwhelmed at the number of families who showed up, brought amazing food, and even some extra friends to help out.  Within minutes, my kids and my families put together 42 bags of food, and we kept some as leftovers, because I actually ran out of bags.  (We’re doing this again on April 10th!)  I wanted to take pictures, document the process, but I managed to catch a few quick shots, and they were all ready to go!

We got in our cars, caravaned down 595, and like a parade of cars, pulled in to the spaces that bordered the park.  I jumped out of my car, and was just looking at all the homeless people, and was almost speechless.  I was overcome with emotion, and didn’t even know how to start.  Thankfully, a young man, who was sitting on a blanket came to me.  I explained that I was a teacher, and in these cars behind me were my students and parents.  That we just celebrated Purim, where we were thankful for our abundance, and wanted to show our gratitude by sharing our food with them.  I told them we might not have enough, and asked them please kindly to share and make sure everyone got something.

Suddenly, every person in the park was standing around us – respectfully – eagerly – waiting to see what we were doing there.  They heard my explanation, and I could immediately feel their incredible gratitude for just showing up for them at this moment.  I then invited my kids to get out of their cars, and carry a bag to each person that was standing on the sidewalk, and suddenly, all of the people in the park began thanking my children profusely.  Again – I was overwhelmed.

A nice looking man – actually he was fairly clean cut, and seemed to me to be “recently displaced” spoke up.  He told my kids that they might not realize it, but that it only takes one person’s small act of kindness to change the world.  Maybe not the whole word, but HIS whole world was changed today, and I suspect, so were many others. But you know what’s funny?  I think for the people receiving the food, their day was changed.  But for those of us who brought the food?  That’s whose lives were changed the most.

Can you imagine the feeling of watching one of your precious students, clutching his mother, as he sobbed in her shirt, in despair for the unfortunate people whose day he just brightened?  Well, not only was his world changed today, but mine was changed even more.  To know that I just watched so many of my precious students, and their parents take part in true, direct giving – from their hearts, and from their wallets, was one of the most life changing experiences I have ever had.

I’m so thankful today. Thankful for my wonderful families.  Thankful that for my $63 investment at BJ’s yesterday, I changed many people’s lives.  Thankful that I saw giving as a pleasure, not as a duty.  Thankful that I shared this moment with my students, and hopeful that they will always be inspired to give – more, and more often, to those in need.

We will be doing this again on April 10th, and if my friend Elizabeth has her way, this is going to become a monthly event – because truly – people are starving every day – right here at home.  Not just on Thanksgiving or Yom Kippur, but every day – and because we can – we should make giving a daily event. Thank you to all who shared in today’s Mitzvah.  I am truly grateful for having you in my life.

B’Shalom,

Filed Under: Holidays, Judaism, Thoughts Tagged With: , , , ,

Thanks is for Giving

November 17, 2010 By Leave a Comment
gratitude

I was reminded of this by a friend and colleague of mine, who has written (and is soon to be arriving in bookstores) a book called   1000 Mitzvahs:  How Small Acts of Kindness Can Heal, Inspire, and Change your Life.  I’ve always admired Linda for realizing that sometimes it is the small things that matter most, and when we focus on them, and perform them daily, these acts truly can move mountains.

For many of you with children in my program, you have no doubt heard from them after each session, that we spoke about the little things, about acts of kindness, and most especially the art of gratitude.  I teach them that before we can wish or pray for one single thing, we must physically count our blessings, take inventory of what we have, so that we are reminded that perhaps we don’t need the many things we wish for.  I also teach them to recognize how many unfortunate people have so much less than we do, so that perhaps we can wish for more things or more happiness for those who are in need.
Linda’s email struck such an important chord.  I see many people offering help and assistance to others, and for those of you who make it your life’s mission to do so – Kol Ha Kavod!  (Great job!)  But – I often wonder, how much of an impact we could make in our own personal friends’ and families’ worlds, by reaching out, and offering our humanity, our love, and our appreciation of what we do for each other.  We spend so much time behind facebook, and many modalities of social networking, that I fear we will lose a human touch, which is so critical to our existence.  (I’m most guilty!) I know how much it means to me when one of my families reaches out to hand write me a note, or calls me to tell me how much they appreciate what I’ve done.  So, I’m sending Linda’s note to all of you to remind you that while giving to those less fortunate should never take a back seat – let’s try to remember this Thanksgiving to show the people we love how much we appreciate them in our lives.  You would be surprised how much love can grow, when you give more of it away….
I am thinking of all of you this holiday season, and am so grateful for what you – and your children – bring to my life.
(And Thank You, Linda!  I can’t wait to read the book, and feel like I had a part in it – as it was one of your mitzvot that brought us together!)
Thanks is for giving

You are my God and to you I am thankful, my God I will sing in awe of you.
Eli atah ve’odeka elohai aro-me-meka
A few years ago, I passed a sign on a church billboard in November that said Thanks is for giving. Of course, as Americans we have a holiday that proclaims to be a holiday of Thanksgiving but I am not convinced that Thanksgiving has achieved all that it can these days. For many families it is a time to come together and share in a leisurely holiday meal which in this day and age maybe unique in itself. Some families might volunteer to help deliver meals to homebound seniors or serve at a soup kitchen, they might help raise funds for food based organizations all extremely important opportunities to help bring more joy to others around Thanksgiving. I wondered recently if families had any other customs around Thanksgiving, offering more long lasting thanks. In our evolving fast paced world, where Facebook, email and IM has all but replaced hand written notes, perhaps we could add one simple custom this year to take a few moments to send a real card, a hand-written heart felt thank you to someone who has affected our lives in a profound way. Maybe it’s someone who knows they have made a difference in our life like a parent, spouse or child or perhaps it’s someone who doesn’t know what a difference they have made in our life like a colleague, neighbor, coach, mentor or even an old friend. Even one card can make a difference.
Thank-you notes are a physical extension of our gratitude. Sending a card let’s someone know they are on our minds and how important they are to us. After my dad died, there were several people who sent condolence cards that surprised me. They were people I didn’t know all that well and the fact that they took the time to send me a card to let me know they were thinking about me was very touching. The experience of receiving those cards made me realize that I could do the same thing, so during my own 1000 mitzvah project making calls and sending thank-you cards became a common activity.
Sending thank you notes is a simple activity that encourages us to think about what we are grateful for in our life. Living in a state of gratitude is a well understood concept across many faiths. If we are grateful for the things in your life, we will be more conscious of them; and when we acknowledge the things we are grateful for, we will be in a state of deeper appreciation.
It takes so little time to send a thank you card, probably less than ten minutes. Keeping blank note cards and stamps on hand so the card can be written at the drop of a hat makes this process even easier. In addition, this is one of those simple ideas that has a boomerang effect and could certainly be done all year long. By sending more notes and expressing our gratitude to people who have helped us, we in turn will attract more positive situations in our life.
When people send us thank-you notes, we shouldn’t throw them out, rather save them. Find a special bag, book, or box and put all of these notes into it. It’s amazing how those cards can help on a difficult day. It can be a reminder that you are loved and have made a difference in other people’s lives. A friend of mine who worked as a chaplain at a local hospital told me about a fellow chaplain who created her own bag for received thank-you notes and had called it her Bag of Love. What a wonderful way to visibly remember that what we do in this life matters to others.
We struggle in our day-to-day lives to find meaning and importance, and I believe that the simple act of reaching out and giving thanks can have positive ramifications. This Thanksgiving perhaps instead of just partaking in a holiday meal and watching football and even delivering meals or working in a soup kitchen, add a new custom to take a few moments to actively engage in giving more thanks through your written words shared with another.

Linda Cohen
(503)292-3739

Helping the world one mitzvah at a time.
www.1000mitzvahs.org
twitter: @mitzvahs

Filed Under: Holidays, Judaism, Thoughts Tagged With: , ,

Danielle and Garrett – Why I do what I do

November 4, 2010 By 4 Comments
Signing the ketubah

Danielle and Garrett are the perfect reason why I do what I do.

Many colleagues ask me why I invest so much time in my individual couples. They insist that I can be just as popular, and just as busy, but I don’t need to make my couples a part of my life.

WRONG!!!!

Without a couple like Danielle and Garrett, and without falling in love with some (many) of my couples, my practice would feel empty. Instead, Danielle and Garrett were just like my own family from the minute we met, and I wouldn’t change a thing. They both came to me a year ago, wanting to meet, and explore the possibility of my co-officiating a ceremony for them, as D was Jewish, and G was not. They were both raised traditionally, but wanted an equal yet meaningful blend of who they both were as individuals, yet reflecting their harmonious union together. We sat at Starbucks for almost 2 hours (yes, a little longer than the typical initial meeting) and when we left, there was so much love in the air. Danielle called me later to let me know that Garrett specifically wanted ME to do the wedding, absent of a co-officiant. Rarely is it the groom who displays such emotional preference, but Garrett had a way of opening up to me in that meeting, that preserved a very special place in my heart for him – forever. Through the year, Danielle and I became fast facebook friends, engaging in early morning and late night chat, and sometimes, some personal opportunities to vent, and for me to be a sounding board for her, and even some of her family members. After all, this was an Interfaith wedding, and each of them had family members with strong preferences and religiously traditional ideas, and at times, Danielle and Garrett had to make some unpopular decisions about their ceremony, that didn’t please all of the important people in their lives. Together, we worked through it all. Danielle came to my home for coffee one day, to work on choosing a Ketubah, which she purchased from MPArtworks. It was beautiful. She made me such an important part of every decision, and with every twist, turn, and contest that Danielle entered (AND WON!), we built a relationship that would last forever.

We signed the ketubah prior to the ceremony

Now, working with Danielle, it’s impossible not to get her – without the rest of the family, and of course – her very special Dad, Jules. Once D and I became facebook friends, I was instantly friends with her Mom, her Dad, and about 100 cousins. (ok – I’m exaggerating) Her dad, Jules, one of the most incredibly fun and sweet Dads I have ever met, included me in some facebook banter, and the rest was history. The year continued, with anticipation of meeting – and celebrating with everyone, and FINALLY – the night arrived – 10/10/10.

Jules, and his awesome smile!

A special date, a special couple, and a special family – I knew this was going to be a wedding to remember. Danielle could not have planned it better. She and Garrett were married at the Boca Marriott, a venue I could not recommend more highly. They were phenomenal, very accommodating, and everything was perfect. They were married at the fountain outside, and they had a platform built on top of the front third of the fountain, so we were elevated, yet the fountains ran behind us.

Side view of the chuppa with the harpist

I can’t even tell you how beautiful their chuppah was, courtesy of Dalsimer Florists. Yes, these people are the best in the trade, and when you want over the top beautiful flowers – that’s where you go.

The detail of the chuppah was amazing!

They had a harpist for ceremony music, who I have played with before, and she is lovely.  We incorporated so many beautiful traditions, the ketubah, chuppah, sand ceremony and more.  We incorporated the 7 Blessings (Sheva Brachot) with a modern day interpretation on the English.  Instead of circling, I wrapped my tallit around their shoulders, to create a protective circle around them.  It was beautiful.

Unity Sand Ceremony

They performed the biblical ring exchange, on to the right finger, moving each ring over to their own left ring finger, which I think adds so much dimension to the ceremony.  Overall, it was meaningful, uplifting, and just a tiny bit humorous, as Garrett kept throwing some humorous anecdotes in as I was talking and the 3 of us were giggling like crazy!

Jewish Ring Exchange

On the party!  Their DJ – Shamar Reyes, was amazing, he kept that party going, had everyone out on the dance floor (yes, me included), and played such fun music – you couldn’t help but want to dance! (And that, we did!)  Everything was so perfect, and we really had so much fun! Funny note: D wanted a photo booth SO bad. Dad, Jules, wanted nothing to do with it. D entered ANOTHER contest – and yes – SHE WON. Dad, Jules, still wanted nothing to do with it. IT WAS AWESOME! (Ask Dad Jules about the photo booth – he ended up loving it!) Just ask Lindsay with www.photoboothsocial.com how much fun he had at the party! :) Danielle’s friend, Jonathan Nimerfroh was hired to do photos, and he did an amazing job. (I could not be writing this blog entry without his generous supply of beautiful photos!)  We got a sneak peek just a few days after the wedding, and couldn’t wait to see the rest. D’s dress was designed by David Tutera, also a personal friend, and she looked like a princess. Danielle had her rehearsal dinner at Maggiano’s, in Boca, and after the wedding, we all made our way over to Rocco’s Tacos, ANOTHER personal friend of the family, who opened the bar for the after party, and for those of you who know what you do at Rocco’s – the tequila was flowing to say the least! (This family has GREAT friends!)

Rocco on the Tequila Bar - check out those shoes!

Garrett's Mom - contemplating Tequila!

Yes, I attended all of the events of the weekend. A little unusual, as time rarely permits, but again, this was special. I’m not sure I’ll ever be able to describe my relationship with Danielle and Garrett, but I just know it is one that will last forever. They bring a very special brightness to my life, and they made me want to own the responsibility of giving them more than they could have hoped for, for their wedding ceremony. Without couples like this, I might be happy with just being good at what I do. Danielle and Garrett made me want to go beyond that. That’s why I do what I do. D & G – I love you both! I couldn’t have been happier to be such an important part of your special day! I know we will be part of each other’s lives for a very long time FOREVER!

Filed Under: Featured Content, Interfaith relationships, Slider, Weddings Tagged With: , ,

A beautiful blend of both…

April 25, 2010 By 3 Comments
chupah-in-the church

Kathy emailed me a year ago, as she and her fiance, Drew, and their Moms were coming to Fort Lauderdale, and were looking for someone to co-officiate their wedding.  As of yet, they didn’t have a venue, but both Kathy and Drew, an Interfaith couple, each had very different “must-have’s” in their wedding, and finding the perfect location, and people to make it happen seemed like a monumental task.

For Kathy – and her Mom, a Church wedding was their #1 must have.  For Drew, and his Mom, the rich, beautiful Jewish traditions that kept them connected to their Jewish heritage were theirs.  We needed a church, a chuppah, a unity candle, a kiddush cup, a ketubah, and many more aspects of each of our faiths to incorporate into their wedding ceremony.

So many of Kathy’s plans kept falling through, between scheduling of the Air and Sea Show, and Churches and Pastors not being available, that Kathy and Drew even contemplated making the whole thing a destination wedding!  But – Kathy persevered, because she really wanted the wedding of her dreams – and I think they got just that!

The first time I met Kathy and Drew, and their Moms, Merideth and Susan, we had a love fest, a session filled with “absolutely’s” and “of course’s”!  In the next meeting, at the church, with Kathy and Drew, Susan, Dr. DeBie, and myself, things got a tiny bit tense, as we worked diligently to find just the right mix and blend of each of our “must haves”.  Several months later, we drew up the final ceremony program, and it seemed, we had ourselves the perfect Interfaith wedding.

Last night, Kathy and Drew were married at the Church By the Sea, with Dr. Linden DeBie, and myself co-officiating. First, to walk into that church, and see the beautiful chuppah standing there waiting for us, was so profound.  It meant so much to me, to know that we worked so hard to create a service that was full of faith, and that even though we both thought very differently about our faiths, we were able to put our differences aside, for the beauty of what unites us.

Chuppah in the church

As the processional began, Susan and Merideth arrived at the altar, lit the side candles of the Unity Candle, and were seated.  As Kathy arrived at the altar with her Dad, I welcomed everyone, and Dr. DeBie offered the Declaration of Intent, and asked the Giving of the Bride.  Kathy and Drew then stepped together under the chuppah, and Dr. DeBie performed their vows, and then I performed the traditional Jewish ring exchange.  Kathy and Drew lit their center Unity Candle, as their guitarist played “Here Comes the Sun”.  (beautiful)

The rest of the ceremony was – believe it or not – predominantly Jewish-style.  We signed their ketubah, shared the wine from their 6th generation kiddush cup from Drew’s family, and I sang the Birkat Kohanim (Julie Silver’s version).

Afterwards, Dr. DeBie pronounced Kathy and Drew husband and wife, and I concluded the ceremony with the breaking of the glass.

Looking back, and hearing everyone’s comments, I know fully why I do what I do.  I may not be able to change the world, or the face of faith, but I can certainly change some family’s lives, by giving them hope to see that love transcends individual beliefs.  That together, when we can sit a table and focus on what unites us, rather than what divides us, that all things are possible.

Today, I look back on Kathy and Drew’s wedding last night, with love, fond memories, and even stronger hope for the future, of a world that looks peaceful, and stands in unity.

Amen.

Filed Under: Featured Content, Interfaith relationships, Slider, Weddings Tagged With: , , , , ,

Delia and Mitch’s weeklong wedding celebration

March 5, 2010 By Leave a Comment
Delia Mitch, and I

No rests for the weary!  Brett and Andrea’s wedding was certainly a highlight last weekend, but the rush back across the alley to be back for Sunday morning’s event was well worth the drive!

Delia called me just a few weeks ago.  Her “real” wedding was planned for March 7th, this coming Sunday, but her in-laws, Mitch’s parents would be unable to make the trip to NY for the wedding.  As the daughter in law, it was very important for her to celebrate this moment with Mitch’s parents, and to give them the opportunity to celebrate this simcha with their friends as well.  Delia, the brilliant, compassionate woman that she is had a stellar idea!

She called me to ask if I would simulate in its entirety, a wedding ceremony complete with all the bells and whistles, without having to “make it legal”, which of course, was just fine with me!  So, last Sunday, on a magnificently sunny but cool winter morning in Highland Beach, FL, I performed a beautiful ceremony for Delia, Mitch, his parents. and 30 of their closest friends.

I was incredibly impressed with the way the Holiday Inn, Highland Beach set up the ceremony location, right on the water, on the patio, off the dining room.

What really touched me, was that now, Delia’s parents were not present, so Mitch’s Dad walked Delia down the aisle, as Mitch’s mom walked her son.  They chose 4 close friends to hold my self-made chuppah poles, and because of the time of day – bright and early on Sunday morning – we used an alternative “fruit of the vine” – oranges.  Well, kind of like a vine, I guess- but far more palatable, at that time of day!

I didn’t have much time to get to know Delia and Mitch, but something happens when I stand with a bride and groom at one of the most intimate moments of their lives.  The feelings transcend the experience and as Delia and Mitch emotionally shared their vows repeating after me, I felt like I had known them forever.  It was a beautiful moment, incredibly real, and equally as moving as I’m sure their ceremony will be this coming weekend.

I’m so happy I was there for them, and Mitch’s parents called me immediately the day following the wedding to thank me beyond words.  It is families like this that make my job so joyous and happy, and I am so honored to have had the privilege of beginning Mitch and Delia’s weeklong wedding celebration!

Best of luck to you both, and enjoy the wedding!

B’Shalom

Filed Under: Featured Content, Jewish, Slider, Weddings

Some things were just meant to be…

March 4, 2010 By 6 Comments
Chupah by the sea

It’s been a busy year.  Incredibly busy.  And, fortunately for me, almost every weekend during the year has been booked, sometimes with one, but often with even 2 or 3 events in one weekend.  There hasn’t been much room for anything spontaneous (let alone blog writing), but, last Saturday was just – different.

It was a day that for whatever reason remained open in my calendar.  A Saturday?  Not a single event, from morning to night.  Sure, I had something on Sunday, but I kept wondering to myself, for months why that particular Saturday was just sitting there…alone and empty.  But now I know, it was meant to be that way.

At 7 am last Saturday, I was just waking up, figuring I would take advantage of the down time and do some office work, some blog writing, maybe even writing some music.  Before I finished my first cup of coffee, the phone rang.  WHO would be calling me this early, I wondered?  It was a Boca area code, but I didn’t recognize the number.  The gentleman on the other end of the phone said “Cantor Debbi, I found you online, and at the same time you were recommended to us by another source so I’m hoping you can help my friend”….He continued on saying…”They are getting married TONIGHT in Naples, Florida, and at 10:30 last night, they found out their Rabbi had been hospitalized, and was unable to perform the ceremony!”

OMG, I thought – what a horrible thing to happen!  He asked me if there was any way I could help and immediately the answer came to me, the reason all along this date was sitting open – it was just waiting for this phone call to happen, I suppose.  “Yes”, I replied, “In fact, I happen to be available all day and night, and can be in Naples in less than 2 hours.  How can I help?”

He told me that in just a moment, Brett, the groom would call me, and he did, and we chatted briefly, and in less than 20 minutes. we walked through a ceremony, planned how all this would play out, and I assured him I would be there a few hours before the ceremony began.  We planned a Ketubah signing, the whole ceremony from beginning to end, and we were on our way.  Within a couple of hours, I was in my car headed west, to The Naples Beach and Golf Resort, a magnificent location for a wedding, (and strangely enough, one of the first places my husband and I spent the weekend at together, almost 25 years ago!)

As a side note – it struck me that amid some of the worst winter weather we had been having, as I was driving across Alligator Alley, I was amazed at what a beautiful day it was, cool, crisp, and incredibly sunny.  I was certain there was something divine going on here, but just not quite sure what.

Sure enough, I arrived at the resort, found the coordinator, checked in, made sure everything was in order, and before I knew it – it was time for the Ketubah signing.  I met both Brett and Andrea just before, and they were one of the cutest, sweetest couples I had ever met.  Their friends in the bridal party were so excited that I was there, and so grateful that I had arrived, and I just knew that I was right where I was supposed to be.

The setting for their wedding was amazing, the weather was perfect, and the family was ecstatic.  And there I stood, waiting for Brett and Andrea to arrive at the chuppah, and took a moment and looked up at the sky, and offered a special moment of thanks, for leaving this day open, for leading me here, and for being able to make a very special couple’s wedding dream come true.

We don’t always know why things happen, and we don’t always know what is in store, but I learn more and more, that every day, we are exactly where we are meant to be.

I’m so grateful that I had the opportunity to marry Brett and Andrea, for meeting their parents, who were also so grateful for the ceremony and for the way things worked out, and for the new friends I have made as a result of it all.  I’m so grateful to G-d, for allowing me to be right where He wanted me to be.

Filed Under: Featured Content, On The Road, Slider, Weddings

Cheryl and Prav's Jewish-Hindu Islamorada Wedding Weekend

January 10, 2010 By Leave a Comment
Sand

People always ask me..”What is the most unique wedding you have ever performed?”  I’m assuming they want to know about exotic locations I’ve been to, but unique weddings means something very different to me.

When I think about my most unique weddings, I immediately think about the unique relationships I have formed, not only with my couples, but with their friends and family as well, because to ME – that is what makes MY weddings most unique!  For instance, when I’m asked that question, I am always taken back to Dan & Rita’s in Mexico, Felix & Evelina’s in Aruba, Jenni & Mike’s in Fort Lauderdale (diverted from Mexico compliments of Swine Flu), and now, Cheryl and Prav.  Unique to me, are couples and family who are now as close to me as my own family, and whose experiences made a lasting impression on me – for years to come.

And now, I can add Cheryl and Prav to that list.  From the moment I spoke to  Cheryl, we were in love!  She and Prav live in Raleigh, NC, but her mom lives in Boca, and so we made plans to meet on her next trip to South Florida.  Cheryl, Prav, her mom Joselyn, and Step-Dad Ted all met at Cheesecake Factory for dinner, and had the best time.  It was important to Cheryl that I knew her and Prav – I mean – really knew her, and Cheryl LOVES to share, so getting to know them as individuals and as a couple was very easy.  Cheryl and Prav have hearts the size of Manhattan.  They would do anything, give anything, be anything, to and for anyone they loved, because that is just who they are.

And boy oh boy – do they love each other.  Yeah, I know – every couple on their wedding day really loves each other, but seriously, this couple is different.  The love they share for one another brings each of them to tears – at least 3 times a day.  I seriously think Prav prays three times a day, and each time, his #1 prayer is one of gratitude for Cheryl – and vice versa.  I’ve never seen a couple so incredibly grateful for each other, and that’s part of what make Cheryl and Prav so unique.

 

So, on December 21, at Coconut Cove in Islamorada, with the most beautiful ocean behind me, and the most beautiful couple in front of me, I joined Cheryl and Prav in marriage, in a night I will likely never forget.  The venue, I just have to say, was one of the best places I have ever performed a wedding at.  First and foremost, it is a beautiful piece of real estate, but Paul and Magda run the operation, and they run it like it was their own wedding.

The food is amazing, but it was also the layout I loved most.  Guests could dance, but the dining area was separated from the dance floor, so we could enjoy each other’s company, if we chose not to dance.  And the fact that it was a private location – without 10 other weddings going on at the same time made it feel so personal, and warm, that it was incredibly enjoyable!  BUT – the most amazing part?  How about taking your first dance on the packed-sand beach, with fireworks being set off behind you?  Priceless, incredibly priceless.

 

The most priceless part, overall, however, is my Cheryl and Prav.  I love how they love each other.  They inspire me.  They encourage me.  They have become incredibly meaningful in my life, and I can’t imagine life without them.  Now, that’s unique.

Love you, Cheryl & Prav!

Filed Under: Featured Content, Interfaith relationships, Weddings Tagged With: , , ,

My Lovely Litt Ladies!

January 9, 2010 By 1 Comment
The Litt Ladies!

Yes, this blog entry is long overdue, and although it is really about ONE very special and lovely Litt lady, it really is about all of them, because it wouldn’t have been what it was without the 3 Litt ladies, Barri, Tracy, and Jamie.  True – as I sit and type this, just writing their names brings tears to my eyes, because I am so in love with these girls

.

My Barri story is truly amazing.  In 2004, back in another lifetime, when my days were spent recruiting CPA’s and college students (blech), I was knee deep in fall recruitment on a tour of Florida’s top campuses, namely, the #1 Accounting school in the state, UF.  (Go Gators!)  The day was a parade of one Accounting student after another, and halfway through the day, this tall, beautiful, amazing young woman walks up to me and we start to chat, and the rest, we shall say, was history.  Barri came by to discuss her future career, caught between the top echilon pressure of whether to go Big 4 or choose quality of life, for her first step into career world.  I know we stood there and talked for hours, but remember little else.  The world went away, and Barri and I knew we had just established a friendship that would take us years into the future, we just didn’t know how.

When I recruited her (heavily) for an internship for my firm (which she so politely turned down – to hit the big city lights of Big 4 world), she asked me if her sister, Tracy, could come along for the interview.  (I don’t think I’ve ever met anyone else’s sister on an interview).  Enter – Tracy.  Tracy had a little girl named Taylor, and we all stood out there on the sidewalk, even Taylor!

As time went on, Barri of course went to work for Big 4, and her career path was on its way, and who knew – that a few years later, I would be a Cantor!  It didn’t seem we had much opportunity for mentoring with the way our lives were going – till Barri found Dan.  She called me one day – just to tell me she met a boy, and she was in love, and when he asked her to marry him – she emailed me right away.  Our lives were going to cross paths again, in the most wonderful way!

Several years ago, Barri lost her Mom.  Her sister, Tracy and I were both in the same fields, and Tracy and Jamie are older than Barri.  The last thing Barri needed was a mother-figure, she already had 2 older, doting sisters, but I loved Barri – and Tracy, in a way that was so much more than friends.  I still to this day can’t describe it – but I feel like one of my jobs in life, was to be in the Litt ladies’ lives – and so here I am – to stay.

November 21, 2009, Barri walked down the aisle at the Embassy Suites Oceanfront pavilion, in one of the most beautiful ceremonies I’ve ever seen.  Everything this was perfect.  Especially Dan.  If you told me to go out into the world, and pick the absolutely BEST man for Barri, I couldn’t have done a better job.  They are one body, one soul.  I fell in love with Dan, watching him love Barri.  I adore the both of them, and I know she is in the best hands, ever.

The wedding party was incredible – not your every day wedding reception, Tracy and Jamie both sang a song for Barri, that was so beautiful, and then ALL the Litt girls and Barri’s girls got up and rocked with the band.  The funniest was when Dan and his boys got up, and gave it a go.  It was quite a battle of the boy – and girl bands!

But words cannot describe my pride and joy for being asked to stand in my very special spot – as the person responsible for joining Dan and Barri in marriage, nor will I ever forget the moment that Barri – my favorite little Litt lady – became…

…..Mrs. Barri White!

Dan, Barri, Tracy, and Jamie – I love you!

Deb

Filed Under: Weddings Tagged With: , ,

A Marriott kind of weekend!

December 17, 2009 By Leave a Comment
Sand Ceremony - Canes Colors!

This past weekend, I had the pleasure of performing 2 weddings that were very special to me. Bevin and Brian were married at the Marriott Biscayne Bay, and Elaine and Larry were married at the Marriott in Marco Island. It’s funny that they were both at Marriotts, because one of the first things I learned about Larry when I met him, was that he was obsessed with Marriott, and probably holds more points than anyone on earth!

But what also made these couples very special was how creative they both were in planning their weddings. There were differences that I just loved, and made them so much fun to reflect back on.

First, Bevin and Brian are diehard Canes fans, so it was no surprise when they chose to include the sand ceremony, and had individual bottles of sand with their initials on them, filled with orange and green sand!

Personalized Sand Ceremony

Sand Ceremony - Canes Colors!

But what made Bevin’s wedding so unique was that Brian’s mom hand made the bride’s bouquet, as well as the bridesmaid’s, and the groomsmen’s boutonnieres out of beaded jewels and fibers. They were stunning!

bevin bridal beaded bouquet

Elaine and Larry’s wedding was completely unique – they did an amazing job of planning, but incorporated some really fun, lighthearted aspects into the night. The scary part was, they put their wedding rings in a treasure chest, and buried them in the sand right near the chuppa. I lost sleep over this for days, and even though they marked the spot with a wooden “x”, it still gave us a scare when their little ring bearers couldn’t find the chest, even though they were digging frantically with their shovels. WHEW, were we relieved when they found those rings!

My favorite part of a west coast beach wedding, though, is something money can’t buy. The west Florida sunsets are beyond beautiful, and I had so much fun capturing the coastline.

Marco Island Sunset

But, the coolest part of the wedding, was that after they were pronounced, we all lined up with sparklers, and formed 2 lines on either side, and they came running up from the beach, and through the line of sparklers, just as the sun was setting, and it was just so beautiful, lively, and unique!

Sparkler parade Larry and Elaine

My awesome couples are now celebrating on their honeymoons, and the certificates are filed, but the love and joy in my heart is still so strong for them both. Thanks for the awesome memories, and the really great Marriott weekend, everyone!

P.S. BIG shout out to Alexina at the Marriott Biscayne Bay, and to Jacey Wood at the Marriott Marco Island. Both operations were first class, and I especially loved how totally in control Alexina was and had every detail covered before I even asked for anything. Great job, ladies! You are true professionals!

Also – I really loved working with Lisette, the photographer for Bevin & Brian’s wedding – she’s a sweetheart, and her work is just so yummy!

Soo – off to Islamorada on Saturday for Cheryl & Prav’s Jewish-Hindu wedding extravaganza!  See you next week!

signaturedebbiblack

Filed Under: Weddings Tagged With: , , , ,

Double Header weekend – what fun!

December 7, 2009 By Leave a Comment
Ronni, Maude, and Friends

What a busy weekend it was!

I love a day that starts with a wedding, and Saturday was no exception! Matthew and Valeria were married at the Juno Beach Park, in a private beach ceremony with their closest friends surrounding them. The weather on Saturday was stormy, and I was really concerned, driving to Juno, but it managed to hold off, just long enough for us to have their ceremony on the beach…but, no sooner was that ceremony over, the rains re-appeared! We were so thankful for serendipitous timing!

Their ceremony was simple. I have a special ceremony that I use for beach weddings, that is much nicer than a “civil” ceremony, but nothing close to the elaborate religious style weddings I so often perform. Their friend read the Apache Wedding Blessing, and it was simple, and fun!

Later that night, I married Ronni & Maude, at the top deck of the Viceroy Hotel, in downtown Miami (Brickell Key). The view was magnificent, and again, it was a small intimate wedding – just a few friends, and a beautiful photo location! Wow, that hotel is amazing!

Ronni, Maude, and Friends View from the pool deck at the Viceroy Hotel Miami

I love a weekend that is full of love!

B’Shalom!

Filed Under: Weddings Tagged With: , , , ,
« Older Posts